Monday, July 29, 2013


How do you define intimacy in marriage? Most people think of sex immediately when you use that word....intimacy. Five years of marriage and five years of getting to know my husband has taught me that sex is only one very small part of intimacy in marriage.

James came home last night after being gone for 3 nights. We did the usual routine of eating dinner, brushing Sophia's teeth, reading books, and tucking her in. As we were eating, he said to me, "we need to talk about religion tonight". Okay.... That's not a big deal. We talk about religion pretty frequently in our house.

After we tucked Sophia in for the night, we headed downstairs and sat in bed and talked. First we caught each other up on the weekend apart, then after a while, he turned to me and asked, "how are you doing spiritually?" 

Wow. I don't even think in that instant that he knew what that comment did for my heart. I didn't expect him to ask me that. Its not a question that he asks frequently, if ever. I immediately choked up and almost got teary eyed. That question sent an arrow right to my heart. It pierced me and captivated me instantaneously. I have no doubt that God was at the center of that question; that conversation. God gave James the exact words that I needed to hear in that moment. 

I'm in the process of reading the book Captivating for the second time. If you haven't read it, please read it! When I'm done, I plan to make encourage James to read it. The book talks about the heart of a woman and our inherent desires to be part of a great adventure, to feel rescued by a prince, whether a man in your life or Jesus Himself, and to feel beautiful and desired. 

This simple question that James asked me made me feel all those things. I felt loved. I felt beautiful. I felt like I had a man who was willing to fight for me; willing to be sensitive and vulnerable, willing to captivate my heart to it's very depth. If that's not intimacy in marriage, then I don't know what is. 

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